Disney's Girls Have Much to Teach

The Walt Disney Company has been criticized from the very beginning for just about every decision they make. The more recent backlash regarding Merida from Brave is just another drop in the ocean. Honestly, as the Internet meme states, "Haters gonna hate" and there is very little you can do about it if someone decides that they don't like something. The ugly fact is that that is their personal problem and they need to find a way to deal with it, not try to force others to change. Truth be told, any symbol or image or word can be interpreted in a variety of ways. That is one of the beauties of humanity--we each have our own unique way of looking at things and on some plane they are all valid. And, sometimes "a cigar is just a cigar;" sometimes you don't have to find deeper meaning in an image or thought to appreciate it for what it is.

Before I delve into my defense of feminism in Disney, know that I will be focusing on primarily the human-driven animated films. That means that the animal films such as Dumbo, Jungle Book, Aristocats, etc. will not come into play in my arguments, though you might be able to add to my points with them as illustrations. I am also examining, from my memory of the films, mainly Disney animated theatrical films, with two of the three human-centered Pixar movies (the three are The Incredibles, Up, and Brave) thrown into the mix. I'm going to divert from my usual paragraph format and just present a bulleted list of the positive messages found in Disney's leading ladies.

Note that my definition of feminism is a belief that ALL individuals should be treated fairly, regardless of gender, race, creed, etc. No one group of people should be given preferential treatment for any reason. There are positive qualities in both the feminine and masculine. The only thing that makes them feminine or masculine is the fact that we expect one gender over the other to display that quality more often; that does not preclude the other gender from possessing said characteristic. I believe, as Carl Jung, that each individual has both a male half and a female half, some just choose to express one over the other, sometimes both are expressed, or a neutral/neither expression occurs.

As far as stereotypical damsel-in-distress "girly" characters that seem to incredibly irk feminazis, I've found really only three in Disney's animated movie history--Cinderella, who relies on her fairy godmother to "rescue" her from a bad life; Aurora, whose prince is the most pro-active of the princes, other than Aladdin, and who is fated to simply wait for him to save her; Snow White, who is saved not only by her perfect prince, but also by her friends. So, I won't add these three to the bullet list, as they DO show the old-fashioned idea of "beauty must wait for her rescue." The rest of the female leads show a lot more initiative. Keep in mind, however, that even these three females are not entirely two-dimensional in personality. Cinderella has forgiveness and patience, Snow White has kindness and obedience, Aurora has imagination and hope to add to their characters.

• Alice (Alice in Wonderland, 1951): Shows the power, and price, of curiosity. Willing to explore on her own, learns to be careful what you wish for
• Wendy (Peter Pan, 1953): A motherly figure. Shows that a parent can be caring and provide rules for children without diminishing their love. Also stands her own against other females.
•  Eilonwy (The Black Cauldron, 1985): One of the youngest princesses portrayed (she's somewhere around 11 or 12 in the film), has spunk and sass. Does complain about her conditions a bit, but also has her own source of magical power and uses her wits to trick the witches into performing a good deed. Trust and intelligence are her main strengths.
• Ariel (The Little Mermaid, 1989): Curiosity, openness, acceptance, fighting prejudice, adventurous. Opens the eyes of her prejudiced society to the potential of another world. SHE rescues the prince! Finds other ways to communicate. The acceptance and desire for harmony is highlighted much more in the animated television series of the 1990s.
• Belle (Beauty and the Beast, 1991): Intelligence, "unconventional"--doesn't satisfy herself with just looking for a husband and settling down. Wants to explore, sacrifices herself for her father. Stubborn, stands her ground against other stubborn characters. Judges others by their personality and heart, not their looks. Actions speak louder than words!
• Jasmine (Aladdin, 1992): Independent, refuses to remain sheltered, proves she has a mind of her own. Puts off marriage in order to "find herself," but does not discredit love. Kindness is combined with authority and leadership. We see so much more of this in the television series.
• Pocahontas (Pocahontas, 1995): Independent, adventurous, sees value in ALL things on the earth. Willing to sacrifice herself for her ideals (and for love). Pushes for peace and understanding over war and hatred.
• Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1996): Spunky, sensual, strong, fighter, smart, clever. Puts the welfare of her people before her own concerns ("God Help the Outcasts"). Kind, gentle, accepts people as people, regardless of their outward appearance. Judges others based on their behavior, not status or looks.
• Meg/a.k.a. Megara (Hercules, 1997): Very strong character in terms of personality. Starts out super-feminazi (bemoans the idea of being seen as a damsel in distress), but accepts the feminine along with the masculine. Learns that love doesn't make you weak, it can make you stronger. Stands up for herself, fights for her beliefs, doesn't put up with nonsense. Keeps chauvinists in their place. A street-smart gal who has been burned before and is more cautious and wiser because of it.
• Mulan (Mulan, 1998): Blatantly obvious crossing of gender lines, yet she is still able to maintain some of her feminine side. Runs away for noble reasons (selfish reasons in the deleted scenes), proves herself as "one of the boys," puts the greater good above herself, persists in the face of sexism. Very intelligent, a natural leader, loyal, caring.
• Jane (Tarzan, 1999): Female intellectual. She isn't just following Daddy around, she is also studying and documenting what she finds on the excursions. Proper, genteel, natural educator. Defender of her philosophy, but also willing to learn from others. Adaptable, protector personality.
• Chicha (The Emperor's New Groove, 2000): Not a major player in the film, but a major influence on the characters. Strong, loving mother with an authoritative parenting style--balances love and affection and child's personal growth with guidance and structure. Pushes when it's needed, let's others find their way when she knows they can. Puts up with a LOT of stuff that other parents wouldn't tolerate, and with a good humor, too.
• Kida (Atlantis: The Lost Empire, 2001): Physically and mentally strong warrior, protector of her people and her culture. Not satisfied with the status quo, wants to improve her people's lives. The ultimate defender, willing to sacrifice herself for her people, will do what is right.
• Lilo (Lilo & Stitch, 2002): Possibly the first "geek girl" in Disney lore, in the modern sense of the term. Very independent, innocent and yet knowledgeable due to life's hard knocks. Pretty tom-boyish and also shows feminine qualities in her care for others and her desire to be welcomed into the fold. Mainly wants to be accepted for who she is, and accepts others for their quirks. Who else would adopt (and love) a destructive weird looking alien as a part of her family? Judges people based on their behaviors, not appearance, tries to see the good and/or potential in just about everyone. Many of her androgynous traits--balance of the masculine and the feminine--show up more in the television series and subsequent sequels.
• Nani (Lilo & Stitch, 2002): Independent, dependable, reliable. Works hard, perseveres, single "parent" who cares enough to put her needs aside for the greater good of her family. Although sometimes exasperated, works through her frustration to do the best she can for those she loves.
• Captain Amelia (Treasure Planet, 2002): Come on, this one is easy! A female captain! Excellent leadership, straightforward, very clever, keeps a tight ship, fighter, quick wit, nimble mind and body. Rational personality concerned about the safety of her vessel and crew above all else. Even respected by her enemies.
• Sarah Hawkins (Treasure Planet, 2002): The ever-suffering single mother, abandoned by her husband to raise a now-teenage boy by herself. Smart, personable, business owner and operator. Great customer service, people skills. Although frustrated, out of concern for her son's future, still keeps pressing on to keep things afloat.
• Helen Parr/Elastigirl (The Incredibles, 2004): Yes, another strong mother figure [I hope you don't have anything against moms!] Flexible physically and mentally (that's why the creators chose her powers for her role). Peace-maker, supporter, chose to give up her career to provide a stable home for her children. Willing to run out to rescue her husband, both literally and emotionally. Protects her kids before all else. Witty and patient.
• Tiana (The Princess and the Frog, 2009): Too much focus has been made of her race. Like all the other Disney females, she is more than just the color of her skin or her gender. A three-dimensional, fleshed out personality. Hard-working, persevering, take-no-nonsense, tolerate no laziness. Expects people to be rewarded based on their merit and their effort, not their birthright. Not afraid to get her hands dirty, will do what it takes to work her way through her problems. Very independent and self-reliant, also supportive of others.
• Rapunzel (Tangled, 2010): Definitely not a stereotypical "girly-girl," runs around bare-foot, defends herself with whatever is at hand. Believes the best in everyone (sometimes too much), but not too trusting or naive. Gets extra points for maintaining all that hair but never crying about it! Curious, intelligent, observant, quick learner, mostly honest, innocent, heart full of love. Good diplomatic skills, unselfish.
• Merida (Brave, 2012): Tom-boy, strong, agile, excellent hand-eye coordination. Too-obviously anti-feminine, at least on the surface, but comes to appreciate (eventually) the value of feminine qualities. Strong-willed, independent, stubborn, eventually opens her eyes to other view points. Possibly the most selfish of the Disney female protagonists, unfortunately. This is my main problem with the people complaining that Merida "was a good role model for 'normal-looking' girls before her make-over." I would not want either my boy (if I had one) or my girl to put their selfish needs before others. Being unselfish is not an undesirable feminine trait, it's a Christian ideal and the world would have a lot fewer problems if more people stopped thinking about themselves first at the expense of others.
• Vanellope von Schweetz (Wreck-It Ralph, 2012): Actually a princess, though not yet included in the "club" with the rest of the Disney princesses. A "tough cookie" along the lines of Esmeralda and Meg. Puts a positive spin on her solitude, picked on and bullied and teased, but still forgiving in the end. Defensive sense of humor, but not displacement-oriented. Natural racer, just wants to prove herself. Androgynous personality, shows care and concern. Doesn't want to hurt anyone, just wants a fair chance to show her abilities. Full of spunk and confidence.
• Commander Calhoun (Wreck-It Ralph, 2012): Very strong leader, take-no-spit from others, fights for what she needs to, intelligent and competent. Once bitten, ever cautious, still capable of feeling love even though she is a bit afraid at first. Beautiful can be strong.

Maybe WE should stop perpetuating the stereotype that all beautiful women are supposed to be helpless and only the less-than-perfect can fend for themselves. It is possible for beauty and brains to coexist in the same person, male or female.

Motherhood

Before anyone rails against this post and points out any holes in my sentiment I will come forward and make some of your arguments for you. 1) I only have one child, so I "wouldn't know what it's like to keep getting pregnant", etc., or what it was like to deal with a toddler while carrying a baby on my hip. 2) My pregnancy was not riddled with illness or pain. I had morning sickness for maybe two days. I got heart-burn in my 7th or 8th month, but that was about it. I wasn't even fully aware that the sensations I was feeling around my due date were contractions at the time because they felt like mild cramps. So, no, I can't speak for hard pregnancies or hard labor. 3) My daughter was born when I was 22 years old, so I don't have direct experience with either a teen pregnancy or a late-life pregnancy. 4) I never showed. Almost no one knew or could tell I was pregnant unless I told them; I only told a few people who I felt needed to know, like my teachers as my due date came near and my parents. Therefore, I never had to deal with embarrassing questions or looks. 5) Because of complications my daughter was born via cesarean, so I never got to experience "natural" childbirth with all of the pain and craziness most people think about.

Okay, so in the "my life sucks" game, I don't get very many points for my pregnancy or child-birth experiences. I could pull out other cards to gain some life-suck points. a) I was (and always have been) obese during the pregnancy so my doctors did judge me and expect me to come down with all kinds of illnesses like diabetes and heart disease. b) I did not have insurance to cover me as I was not married, though engaged, at the time I became pregnant [we were married before our daughter was born]. c) I was finishing my first master's degree and working on my second master's degree during my pregnancy, while working on my internship. d) My husband was also working on his bachelor's degree at the same time, so money was not readily available, though we did manage. No, I don't get too many life-suck points. I don't really want them, either. I stopped playing that game a long time ago when I met people who insisted on playing to win and I realized that the "prize" was not something I wanted.

What I want to say with this post is, even though I did not have too many problems during my pregnancy, I would still do it all over again. I have heard many people--men and women, but mostly women--say that if women only knew all the "stuff" (often a stronger word is used) that they had to go through during pregnancy, then they would never have sex. Sorry, this is grade-A bull flop. Millions of women, fully aware of the consequences of coitus, still engage in sexual behavior every day. Some don't think too consciously about the consequences, some just don't care. Sex, especially in a loving relationship, has too great an emotional and physical draw to abandon all together. For me, I knew full well of possibilities and consequences. That didn't stop me and I have no regrets. Physical sensations were not even the greatest reward for me. My daughter is. I would go through Hell and back, suffer anything possible, even bad sex, in order to bring her into this world alive and well. I gave up caffeine for her, which was the hardest thing for a grad-student with a full load and a job to do. I don't smoke or drink or do drugs, so there was no worry there. I had to be more careful with my diet, which is never easy for someone who has always been overweight. I did feel like a failure as a woman when they told me they had to perform a c-section, but I didn't care when I heard my beautiful little girl cry for the first time. As we weren't married yet, I knew that there might be repercussions, looks, judgements, etc. for me if I gave birth. I knew that there was a possibility that I might have become a single mother. I knew that there was a chance that I might have had to postpone my second masters degree. However, terminating the pregnancy or giving up my baby for adoption was NEVER!!! an option for me. I chose to deal with anything I had to in order to bring her into this world and care for her for the rest of my life.

I have never told my daughter about my pregnancy in any way to incite guilt for her existence. I would never tell her that my life would be easier or more glamorous or that I'd have more money if I didn't have her. I just can't bring myself to believe that. I find I have a hard time understanding a mother who tells her child "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it!" when she gets angry at them. I also shake my head at the mother who uses the circumstances of her pregnancy and/or childbirth (e.g. "I was in labor for 36 hours and you can't even wash the dishes for me?!") to guilt their child into something. I don't get angry at my daughter. I get angry at the results of some of her behaviors. I get frustrated with things that she does or doesn't do. I become upset sometimes with things that are said or done. But I am never mad or disappointed with her. I love my daughter more than anything. I cannot imagine a world without her. When I give up my time or my money or anything else for her, I don't do it begrudgingly, but with my whole heart. I do spend most of my non-work time either with my daughter or doing things for her. I do spend just about every free, non-debt associated penny I have on her. However, it's not because I "have to" but, rather, because I genuinely want to. I want her as the center of my life. If that means that my life dreams have to wait until she is older and doesn't need me as much, then so be it. I don't see it as a phony martyr self-sacrifice. It's a choice that I willingly made with my full commitment behind it.

I have not forgotten my husband. Sometimes he does take a back seat to my daughter's needs and I do feel guilty for that. However, I still have her very first (his is the first-and-a-half position, not second, but not quite at first) in my heart. I know I don't always show her that. This is where I tend to fail as a mother. That doesn't change the fact, though. And yes, I believe I would feel the exact same way, and maybe even more so, if I had the most complicated and painful pregnancy every known to humanity. Motherhood for me is not a duty, an obligation, a chore, something I have to do or deal with. It is the most precious gift anyone can ever bestow upon me and I am exceedingly grateful that my daughter brought this gift to me.

My Mother

There are times when dejection and depression set in, primarily due to stress. There are times when I question my sanity and purpose in life. There are times when I wonder if I'm doing any good on this earth. There are times when there seems to be no reason to keep working, when I have a desire to quit fighting, when I think I should stop persevering day to day, when I just want to give up.

At times like these, all I really need is a talk with someone who really cares about me. That's when I'm grateful for my mother. She's not a perfect woman and I didn't have an idyllic childhood. Neither did I have a disastrous, chaotic childhood. I do know that she loves me, though. Just hearing her voice, when all the other voices in my life seem to be ignoring me, lifts my spirits. I'll admit that I don't always listen to her advice. I don't know of any child who doesn't believe that they know what's best for them. But I do understand that the fact that she's giving me advice means that she is listening to my woes and that she cares enough to help me.

Moms are all too often taken for granted. Too often do we doubt their intelligence or their sanity. Too often do we undervalue their worth, their contributions to our health and well-being. I thank God for my mother, for just one person who can bring me back from the brink, letting me know that there is always a reason to keep plodding along.